I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
