i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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