You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
