Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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