We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sponge bath it is.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
