I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
