Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
