nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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