no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You smell like stripper and shame
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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