I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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