Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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