ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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