Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
