that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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