i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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