just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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