he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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