You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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