Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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