the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
