It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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