Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
