why didn't you poke me back
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
