I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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