I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
