my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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