Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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