The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
