i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
