we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
