Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
