Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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