Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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