so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
