watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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