: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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