A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
