i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
are you so shy because you have an std?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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