Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
