A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
