i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
