brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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