I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
