Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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