haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
