yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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