Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
