He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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