Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
