I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
should my penis look like a turkey
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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