I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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