dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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