first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
