I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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