you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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