I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize