Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
