God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
