none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
