Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
