fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
