Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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