dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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